Monday
They are stuck with me for the rest of my life.
I was settling down, didn't think we would part, because you told me I was perfect for you.
But your actions were telling me I wasn't, I wasn't good enough. You were suffocating and I wasn't helping. But you wouldn't talk about it. I want to talk about it.
I was always working on it. But no one was giving me a direction.
I might not be the best listener in love. We both aren't.
Kinda blame you kinda don't?
Because I wasn't there for your CNY, Christmas, Valentines, and god knows what else.
You might be upset too, maybe not as much as me as we always knew, it was an imbalance relationship.
Trust tho, what's trust. If you wont show your heart, how do I trust.
But this is the result of that mild trusting too. But if you can imagine if I was fully believing in us, that insufferable pain?
Why. When I assumed and confronted, and you denied on the possibilities. That you haven't settled down, that you, can't control yourself if I weren't around. That you might need me in the presence. That you only needed a pillow so you sleep in comfort.
Why. You popped out from nowhere again and tell me, you think you haven't settled down. You are born a flirt. You can't change the way you talk. You will hurt me regardless and that's the least you want for me.
And that you have a mind on this for a long time.
And I knew.
That when you weren't as committed anymore.
When you didn't want to Skype/call. When you said there was no need for it. There's nothing to talk about.
But you were still there. Then you told me it was a repay, for what I did for you at your darkest.
But did I stay, for one day you will repay? Or did I stay, just because I wanted to stay with you?
Or did I stay, for one day you will never leave.
I hope for a better you, and you fixed yourself. For which I couldn't help.
